


Steve Rogers & The Bitch Ass Historian that Blew His Cover

by intoashipor2



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fanboy Phil Coulson, Historian Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers's Birthday, Surprise Party, bitch ass historian, smug james barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29286876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intoashipor2/pseuds/intoashipor2
Summary: The birthday boy is holding back tears. Bucky knew he’d be shocked, annoyed even, but he wasn’t expecting this.“Wow…I really don’t know how to tell you this, but uh, it’s not my birthday.”Oh yeah. Score.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36
Collections: Quote Prompt Memes





	Steve Rogers & The Bitch Ass Historian that Blew His Cover

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [27twinsister](https://archiveofourown.org/users/27twinsister/pseuds/27twinsister) in the [quoteonlyprompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/quoteonlyprompts) collection. 



“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”

The whole gang leap out from behind pieces of Tony’s furniture as Bucky laces his fingers through Steve’s. From Sharon to Fury, everyone’s decked out obnoxiously in red, white and blue, and wearing matching t-shirts that say, “102 never looked this good!” with their favourite picture of Steve on the front.

The birthday boy is holding back tears. Bucky knew he’d be shocked, annoyed even, but he wasn’t expecting this.  
“Wow…I really don’t know how to tell you this, but uh, it’s not my birthday.”  
Oh yeah. Score.  
\---  
“Listen, Rogers,” starts Tony - sparkly red hat on and an America’s Ass meme splayed across his chest. “Bucky warned us you might try and avoid a party like this which is why it was–”

“No, Tony, hang on,” says Rhodey from against the wall, eyeing Steve’s ah shit expression and Bucky’s shit-eating grin. “Say that again, Cap?”

“4th of July,” he starts with a grimace, “...isn’t my real birthday.”

Crickets. Stillness. Then the sound of pockets rustling and a bucket being pulled out.  
Wallets open as Nat bangs down an ice bucket on Tony’s island bar. The words, ‘TOLD YOU SO’ shine in bright red glitter glue. Every single partygoer except Clint, Fury and Bucky wander over to the bar and pay up.

“Oh, c’mon guys don’t get too hurt about it,” Bucky chimes in, smuggest they’ve ever seen him. “Until about a year ago little Stevie here honestly couldn’t remember his real birthday - but I thought I’d left more than enough obvious clues for you.”

Bucky lets his words echo, before the cacophony begins,  
“This is absurd!” mixes with, “Okay this kind of explains why he hates birthdays,” and “Rogers, you are getting the birthday punches of your LIFE for this.”

Coulson sidles up to the bar last, gobsmacked, and asks for an extra _extra **extra**_ dry martini.  
\----  
“Whaddaya think of the Uncle Steve posters?” asks Clint, swinging an arm around the ‘birthday’ boy as he enjoys a slice of cake.  
“Honestly? Not my taste,” replies Steve, motioning to the ‘We Want YOU’ banners, hurriedly photoshopped by Peter to have Cap’s face on them, tiled across the windows.  
“Oh, ain’t that a crying–” one clap, “shame,” another clap. “You see the heart in it though, right Cap?” Clint teases, looking for one more clap.  
“Always, Clint - I appreciate the effort.” Ever the diplomat. Another clap.  
“So how much did you make?” asks Steve.  
“Sixty dollars,” grins Clint, while Bruce, Sam and Scott furrow their brows over his shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> Directly inspired by this thought from tumblr (I'm an Ao3 noob and couldn't figure out how to make it a link so here's the quote)  
> -  
> “Personally i like to think steve’s birthday isn’t actually July 4th but someone asked him when his birthday was when he was doing his little show tour thingy and he just said it as an accident and/or a panic response in a bid to seem even more patriotic and everyone believed him and now it’s like 100 years later and he’s too deep in the lie to back out now bc he knows all the avengers would fucking publicly roast hi if he admitted july 4th wasn’t actually his birthday -like he would literally never live that down- so he lives his life in fear that some bitch ass historian is gonna find his birth certificate and expose him”
> 
> \---
> 
> (( Yes I know I sorta kinda maybe slapped Coulson in there for my own personal gratification but I haven’t watched AOS yet so I can’t put any of them in ))


End file.
